arrg. i was having a really good day, but just as i was about to write, a wave of emotion hit. now im mad,sad,&frustrated. i feel like crying. but im not going to. i hate crying. hmm nevermind. that feeling is gone."emoment" or w/e... blah there is nothing to do tonight everyone else is doing stuff but me. imagine that. and im not about to go to the "movies" so ill probably just stay home. im not gonna even get started on all of my friends...and how ally is mad at me for asking her if she had "feelings" for chris..wtf?.. that wave of emotion is coming back....anyways i wont bore you with my life anymore.
heres a cool song that just like describes everything...

"a future with no friend" -small brown bike <<thier pretty cool
--
Remember when you said that things would never change.
You liar. Because these days things in my life, they don't stay the same.
You changer. Driving (at you). Thinking (of you).
Tears scream down my face.
Trying (for you). Talking (to you).
An incoherent mess.
Pulled up to your place with a script fully prepared.
I'm acting. You stared with no applause.
A broken leg review. I'm failing. (Failing with you)
A drawer full of nothing, except old birthdays and business cards.
And photos that seem like history.
A history worth nothing.
Like a future with no friend.

my life is crappy.

blah...we got out of school early today. and i came home and went to the mall for like a couple of hours with my sister.. then i went to the tannin bed and i kept falling asleep so it was weird. so then i came home and went to bed and everyone kept texting me so i kept waking up with that lil vibrating noise uh. and now i have a tummy ache..yucky. im not "happy" right now... i just dont feel good. and im coughin like a smoker ew.

I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye
wont be the only way you'll look at me then.

D|C

 

im suppose to be writing a speech-but im not.
but anyways today was flex day which was totally awesome so me and ally hung out and went up to the mall for a couple of hours and it wasnt all that fun because no one was at the mall so we went to candy craze and got us some candy... but yeah i have a shiz load of homework.. and im not in the mood to do it at all. I feel worthless anymore. but i got the new incubus cd yesterday its really good its way different then their other cds but its still great. they have a southern girl song awww. but today in class they thought it would be funny to throw a cricket at me so i like started freaken out and then they threw it at kelsey too it was very rude and disgusting...well im gonna finish writing my speech blah..

me and kayla decided that we were gonna go to good will this weekend or soon and get cool random stuff.. because were weird like that o well.thats all i have to say..

You came to me like a dream -the kind that always leaves. Just as the best part starts, it ends so abruptly and leaves you stunned and naked in your bedroom all alone. Kind of funny how something so soothing gets interrupted by the ring of a telephone. One thing that I never said: I'm truly happy in my heart and in my head. A lonely liver suspended in liquid. It's one thing that I never did was swallow. Missing a case, lacking a lid, my heart bleeds for what you never did. 

A journal is where you write about your deepest thoughts, feelings that are coming from your heart, moments you dont ever want to forget. Its a place where no one can reach out to you. Where they dont understand. And when you begin to write about how you feel, and then read the words back to yourself. It really makes you think about who you are. It doesnt matter what you write about. It could be the most upsetting journal entry you have ever wrote, or an entry that is marked with a tear drop on every word. It may destroy you, it may decide to make you sad. And on special days you could feel loved. Or even happy. You could feel like youre the luckiest girl alive or feel like there is nothing that could stop you. But in other moments you could be mad, and get angry at everyone close to you. Push people away and feel like the only thing that is important is what you have to say. You might wish many things, and some may never come true. And in the end.. Youve found a better you!

<3333333
Renee

ToDaY was actually kinda fun all we did was watch pirates of the carrabean or how ever you spell that C word and we had History Day which was really retarded but im glad its over whew... but i also found my agenda the other day too..it was hiding from me..
but it didnt do too good of a job because i found it but ne ways
me and jasmine snuck out of science today the door was half way open so we dropped on the floor and started crawling out and then we ran..it was fun at the time but there was no where to go so we just went back to class she didnt even care that much so its okay.. but im starting to get really annoyed with a lot of people lately but ill be okay just leave me alone ya know? okay but tonight im doing the usual friday i have no life thing...goin to the movies blahh oh well at least i get to be with my friends...

bi-bi
<3Renee



when all at once i wake up
from something that keeps knocking at my brain
before i go insane
i hold my pillow to my head
and spring up in my bed
screaming out the words i dread
I think I love you

ugh ugh ugh.
im sooo very mad at myself right now because im like retarded i lost my freaken agenda which had all of my history day stuff in it yeah im really unorganized.. its kinda sad so i had to type up the process paper again and i dont know what im gonna do about the annotated bibliography i think it might be saved on one of the computers at school tomorrow it took me FOREVER to retype all that junk and now i gotta do it again blah i knew this history day thing was a bad idea i seriously despise it uh.. owell i think it might be at page i have no idea...ahh and i also broke my pretty lamp it doesnt work ne more now :( ugh bad me

jester1to10: so how are the kids
precious92741: what kids
jester1to10: uh oh
jester1to10: you lost the kids
jester1to10: oh well we can always grow some new ones

okay yeah that was funny!


SO...the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on their face"

<3 Renee







 

 

okay so we got out early today and now im really bored...and i dont know what to do i guess gettin out early wasnt so great after all i hate leavin school early once u already started your day off by gettin ready ha but ne ways...our guys lost lastnight against page haha that sucks but umm... allys mad at me and i have no clue why but ugh this is really gay i hate heritage its the gayest school ever and it should die...yeah i have nothing else to say so bye!

<333
Renee

go crazy for the one that says your beautiful

lets start out by starting over...

[  i want a boy ]
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
[  who whispers soft  ]
To never fall in love again
[ and kisses harddd ]

ew sundays suck!! me and jae are friends again i guess we were just mad at eachother i have no idea its all pretty confusing but ne ways i want starbucks....really bad and im bored so im gonna put a poem in here b/c i have nothing to write about .....

I wish I could be the one,
the one who won't care at all
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns its back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confined in me was your heart
I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me.



<3333 me.

Okay..... lastnight i couldnt make up my mind on what i wanted to do.. so i went home with porschea then we were gonna go to the chs vs. fhs game but then when decided we wanted to go to the movies.... so we were gettin ready and i started feeling ugh i dunno weird i guess and decided i didnt wanna go to the movies anymore i felt really really bad about tellin porschea that. but i dont know i knew i would regret goin to the movies anyways? but idk it was all really weird so i came home and kelsey got on the internet and asked me if i was goin to the movies and i was like i dunno so me and kelsey were gonna go to the movies but we just decided to stay at her house and watch movies so we watched "Road Trip" and ate gummy worms! and then at like 9 we went to star bucks. yummy..it was actually pretty fun until jae started bitchin at me and makin me feel worthless which isnt unusual b/c he likes to make me feel like crap a lot thank you jae... o well i cared at the moment but im used to fighting with him anymore its kinda a daily thing, i dont hate him though. i hope he doesnt hate me either

feb 10th i get my hair done im gettin really dark brown low lights...

valentines day is comin up :* (its suppose to be a smootchy face)

Read this

<3 madly
Renee

well isn't that grand?
lovely as you are, stupid as i am.
can't even keep a promise.