Wednesday, February 11, 2004
have you ever tried to step in my shoes.
uhmm this weekend me and kayla are going out to eat together and then good will! im sure the waiter person will think were dykes or something but thats okay. because were not... haha but everyone liked my hair so im not gonna worry about it anymore.. haha kayla dressed funny today she wore this like blue shirt and i bright pink tank top under it and we were lookin for our W.W.J.D bracelets HAHA.
Posted at 09:14 pm by me
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
miracle grow?
so i got my hair done today... and all and i was really excited and then I got it done..and im not so sure what i think about it. i was about to break down and cry but then i thought it would be gay of me to cry over.. my hair... which means a lot to me but thats not the point.. i just want to be different then everyone else haha o well i like all the color b/c its brown and blonde now.. i just dont know about the length my sister said "she wants my hair" but-i dont know you'll just have to see it. i think im happy with it. quit confused though..... hair is gay!!!
so take these two words
and do with them what you would like
it's a dream you had, drove me mad
just your time, just my fucking life
and that's my life
over and over again
just my fucking life
it might seem meaningless to you
but it means everything to me
and I'm fucked without you
-alkaline trio
Posted at 10:14 pm by me
Monday, February 09, 2004
this is what it sounds like when doves cry
Im sitting here talking to kayla on the phone but were not really talking haha. But ne ways im gonna tell you about her icky protien bars. Kayla eats yucky brown crap tasting protien bars everyday and there fattning too even though protiens good for you...YuCkY... but ne ways ... i dunno what else to say...ummmm........
kayla just wrote a poem for me.. here it goes.
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
But ive got better things to do then write a stupid poem about you!
HAHAHAHHAHA
:A true friend takes you as you are and leaves you better then they found you
Posted at 05:47 pm by me
Saturday, February 07, 2004
this is what living like this does
So i went bowling lastnight it was really fun and allys really good at bowling..haha and then ally spent the night so we like passed out and then her little alarm thing went off at like 6 in the morning on her cell phone and i got up and i was tryin to say something and i couldnt so i fell back asleep it was really weird..it hurt my throat. but im really excited because tuesday i get my hair done but i dont really have anything else to say.....
Tell Myself GoodBye-Dead Poetic
These words roll of my tongue like second nature.
But I’m far from my womb, and you know I’m far from you.
So when do I come back to you?
Was this already written or have I fallen so far…
I can’t tell the light from the dark.
I thought you had me forever.
But I’m sure you thought the same about me.
And I’m sorry, so sorry.
These dreams run through my head that frolic through some tube of my brain.
I’m going insane, I’ve forgotten my name.
So I’ll use yours, like a dropped friend I wish I never left.
I wish I never left you. I wish I never left you.
I can’t tell the light from the dark.
I thought you had me forever.
But I’m sure you thought the same about me.
And I’m sorry, so sorry.
Winter’s come early this year.
Like a bird in the rain, I’ve tortured my everything.
The rain falls, and I never meant to leave you standing.
Posted at 02:04 pm by me
Friday, February 06, 2004
home is where you die
arrg. i was having a really good day, but just as i was about to write, a wave of emotion hit. now im mad,sad,&frustrated. i feel like crying. but im not going to. i hate crying. hmm nevermind. that feeling is gone."emoment" or w/e... blah there is nothing to do tonight everyone else is doing stuff but me. imagine that. and im not about to go to the "movies" so ill probably just stay home. im not gonna even get started on all of my friends...and how ally is mad at me for asking her if she had "feelings" for chris..wtf?.. that wave of emotion is coming back....anyways i wont bore you with my life anymore.
heres a cool song that just like describes everything...
"a future with no friend" -small brown bike <<thier pretty cool
--
Remember when you said that things would never change.
You liar. Because these days things in my life, they don't stay the same.
You changer. Driving (at you). Thinking (of you).
Tears scream down my face.
Trying (for you). Talking (to you).
An incoherent mess.
Pulled up to your place with a script fully prepared.
I'm acting. You stared with no applause.
A broken leg review. I'm failing. (Failing with you)
A drawer full of nothing, except old birthdays and business cards.
And photos that seem like history.
A history worth nothing.
Like a future with no friend.
Posted at 04:05 pm by me
Thursday, February 05, 2004
i will never ask if you dont ever tell me
my life is crappy.
blah...we got out of school early today. and i came home and went to the mall for like a couple of hours with my sister.. then i went to the tannin bed and i kept falling asleep so it was weird. so then i came home and went to bed and everyone kept texting me so i kept waking up with that lil vibrating noise uh. and now i have a tummy ache..yucky. im not "happy" right now... i just dont feel good. and im coughin like a smoker ew.
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye
wont be the only way you'll look at me then.
D|C
Posted at 07:14 pm by me
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
you can't live in the past expecting change
im suppose to be writing a speech-but im not.
but anyways today was flex day which was totally awesome so me and ally hung out and went up to the mall for a couple of hours and it wasnt all that fun because no one was at the mall so we went to candy craze and got us some candy... but yeah i have a shiz load of homework.. and im not in the mood to do it at all. I feel worthless anymore. but i got the new incubus cd yesterday its really good its way different then their other cds but its still great. they have a southern girl song awww. but today in class they thought it would be funny to throw a cricket at me so i like started freaken out and then they threw it at kelsey too it was very rude and disgusting...well im gonna finish writing my speech blah..
Posted at 08:17 pm by me
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
crazy-thinking, just knowing the world is round
me and kayla decided that we were gonna go to good will this weekend or soon and get cool random stuff.. because were weird like that o well.thats all i have to say..
You came to me like a dream -the kind that always leaves. Just as the best part starts, it ends so abruptly and leaves you stunned and naked in your bedroom all alone. Kind of funny how something so soothing gets interrupted by the ring of a telephone. One thing that I never said: I'm truly happy in my heart and in my head. A lonely liver suspended in liquid. It's one thing that I never did was swallow. Missing a case, lacking a lid, my heart bleeds for what you never did.
Posted at 05:32 pm by me
Sunday, February 01, 2004
tell your dad what you learned today
A journal is where you write about your deepest thoughts, feelings that are coming from your heart, moments you dont ever want to forget. Its a place where no one can reach out to you. Where they dont understand. And when you begin to write about how you feel, and then read the words back to yourself. It really makes you think about who you are. It doesnt matter what you write about. It could be the most upsetting journal entry you have ever wrote, or an entry that is marked with a tear drop on every word. It may destroy you, it may decide to make you sad. And on special days you could feel loved. Or even happy. You could feel like youre the luckiest girl alive or feel like there is nothing that could stop you. But in other moments you could be mad, and get angry at everyone close to you. Push people away and feel like the only thing that is important is what you have to say. You might wish many things, and some may never come true. And in the end.. Youve found a better you!
<3333333
Renee
Posted at 05:47 pm by me
Friday, January 30, 2004
close yet so far
ToDaY was actually kinda fun all we did was watch pirates of the carrabean or how ever you spell that C word and we had History Day which was really retarded but im glad its over whew... but i also found my agenda the other day too..it was hiding from me..
but it didnt do too good of a job because i found it but ne ways
me and jasmine snuck out of science today the door was half way open so we dropped on the floor and started crawling out and then we ran..it was fun at the time but there was no where to go so we just went back to class she didnt even care that much so its okay.. but im starting to get really annoyed with a lot of people lately but ill be okay just leave me alone ya know? okay but tonight im doing the usual friday i have no life thing...goin to the movies blahh oh well at least i get to be with my friends...
bi-bi
<3Renee
when all at once i wake up
from something that keeps knocking at my brain
before i go insane
i hold my pillow to my head
and spring up in my bed
screaming out the words i dread
I think I love you
Posted at 06:47 pm by me
