Wednesday, January 28, 2004
*your frustration is CoNtAgiOuS*
ugh ugh ugh.
im sooo very mad at myself right now because im like retarded i lost my freaken agenda which had all of my history day stuff in it yeah im really unorganized.. its kinda sad so i had to type up the process paper again and i dont know what im gonna do about the annotated bibliography i think it might be saved on one of the computers at school tomorrow it took me FOREVER to retype all that junk and now i gotta do it again blah i knew this history day thing was a bad idea i seriously despise it uh.. owell i think it might be at page i have no idea...ahh and i also broke my pretty lamp it doesnt work ne more now :( ugh bad me
jester1to10: so how are the kids
precious92741: what kids
jester1to10: uh oh
jester1to10: you lost the kids
jester1to10: oh well we can always grow some new ones
okay yeah that was funny!
SO...the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on their face"
<3 Renee
Posted at 05:40 pm by me
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
close my eyes think of you-are you thinking of me too?
okay so we got out early today and now im really bored...and i dont know what to do i guess gettin out early wasnt so great after all i hate leavin school early once u already started your day off by gettin ready ha but ne ways...our guys lost lastnight against page haha that sucks but umm... allys mad at me and i have no clue why but ugh this is really gay i hate heritage its the gayest school ever and it should die...yeah i have nothing else to say so bye!
<333
Renee
go crazy for the one that says your beautiful
lets start out by starting over...
[ i want a boy ]
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
[ who whispers soft ]
To never fall in love again
[ and kisses harddd ]
Posted at 01:29 pm by me
Sunday, January 25, 2004
youll never scream so loud as i wanna scream with you
ew sundays suck!! me and jae are friends again i guess we were just mad at eachother i have no idea its all pretty confusing but ne ways i want starbucks....really bad and im bored so im gonna put a poem in here b/c i have nothing to write about .....
I wish I could be the one,
the one who won't care at all
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns its back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confined in me was your heart
I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me.
<3333 me.
Posted at 07:36 pm by me
Saturday, January 24, 2004
but what do you do when you want to escape-but there is no escape?
Okay..... lastnight i couldnt make up my mind on what i wanted to do.. so i went home with porschea then we were gonna go to the chs vs. fhs game but then when decided we wanted to go to the movies.... so we were gettin ready and i started feeling ugh i dunno weird i guess and decided i didnt wanna go to the movies anymore i felt really really bad about tellin porschea that. but i dont know i knew i would regret goin to the movies anyways? but idk it was all really weird so i came home and kelsey got on the internet and asked me if i was goin to the movies and i was like i dunno so me and kelsey were gonna go to the movies but we just decided to stay at her house and watch movies so we watched "Road Trip" and ate gummy worms! and then at like 9 we went to star bucks. yummy..it was actually pretty fun until jae started bitchin at me and makin me feel worthless which isnt unusual b/c he likes to make me feel like crap a lot thank you jae... o well i cared at the moment but im used to fighting with him anymore its kinda a daily thing, i dont hate him though. i hope he doesnt hate me either
feb 10th i get my hair done im gettin really dark brown low lights...
valentines day is comin up :* (its suppose to be a smootchy face)
Read this
<3 madly
Renee
well isn't that grand?
lovely as you are, stupid as i am.
can't even keep a promise.
the roses you gave me died so long ago.
i believe in signs.
i should have known.
they weren't even my favorite color.
you don't even know my favorite color.
and nothing with you get me anywhere.
should have known
when KoNsTanTiNe was blaring in my car
and you yelled at the speakers-
slammed your hand against my radio to make it stop.
make the beauty stop.
should have known*
anyone worth loving...is moved by those words.
you're not worth loving-
and no, it doesn't hurt to say it.
funny the way things work, huh?
never seen this side of me before-
always thought i'd care.
but i never really did-
and you never really knew that.
i've saved all the words you've dangled from your cliffs,
and FOR CHRISTMAS
i thought maybe you could choke on them.
i like that idea.
i don't want them inside me anymore.
i'll scream that your lips are soft
and knead them with mine,
find a passion deep inside-
and it'll be for someone else,
but you won't be able to tell.
and you'll grab my face with those rough hands
along with every other part of me-
but i won't say a word.
i'll keep my eyes shut tight and wait for the moment.
i'll know when it comes.
and i'll spit all the words out into your mouth,
the one i'm kissing,
and you won't know what happened-
because you were so set on soft lips.
and those words-
they'll fill you from your toes
until they clog every part of you
and you can't breathe.
and maybe then, with desperate attempts to eat the air-
maybe when your reality is cloaked in a fragile appearence*
with all your regrets,*
i'll remember when i thought i loved you.
but then i'll remember
I NEVER DID
i won't ever have to endure those black rages of yours.
and i can sing as loud as i want to KoNsTaNTiNe
-
i'll find someone to love as much as those words.
and it won't matter that you're gone.
it never does.
and you should have known.
Posted at 04:05 pm by me
Thursday, January 22, 2004
what will it take for you to admit you were wrong
Blahh okay today sucked once again. the only good thing about it was we got to dress up like dudes (thanks to chris). I dont even know what made me in a bad mood.. but during math and the rest of the day i was being .. witchy. and haley and kayla just pissed me off a lot today so im not gonna even go into detail about that all i have to say is i dont hate haley or kayla but... they seem to blab a lot like lil messengers or something and it really got on my nerves but w/e... oh yeah one funny thing did happen maria was being really loud and i was like gosh maria your so loud and she was like screamin "jello" in my ear so i hit her and her jello flung everywhere and i yelled in her ear "jello go bye bye" it was really funny at the time...b/c it just was...? idk..
but the basketball game at woodland was pretty fun i have to say i thought the guys were gonna lose b/c of half of our players gettin kicked off but they did awesome and i love them for it! me and bre were just being retarded the whole game and maria and meagan kept liftin up my skirt b/c they like my booty!! and yeah.. but afterwards me meagan bre porschea kaelin and stephen all went to mc donalds that was the most fun i had in a long time it was hilarious we were all hyper and made fools out of ourselves even though no one was there. but yeah thats how my day went..
2morrow im wearing my hair krimpy i think yeah.
and i dont know what im doin tomorrow night either probably nothing b/c the movies are gettin really old. blahh
ok bye,
Renee
Posted at 11:53 pm by me
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
survey
Okay i took a little survery thing and its kinda cool so check it out.... and i dont really feel like writing about me day either b/c nothin happened once again cept for maria poured coke in my eye ball. but yeah tomorrows sadie hawkins day so im just gonna dress up like a fag with kayla
The last thing that made me feel cared about was: talken to ppl who care about me.
The last time I was scared: um Monday when me jamie and maria watched the ring for like the 10th million time but thats ok.
The last time I cried was: lord knows?
I will be remembered as: the annoying girl that is too outspoken sometimes
Someday i will be: in control of your dumbasses
I crave: to be loved
I like: affection
I know: a lot that you dont know about me
I want: to be friends with some that ive lost
I fear: rejection
I understand: nothing
I hate: couples and boys..
Hate is: everywhere
I love: writing in this
Love is: not enough sometimes
I live for: shopping
I sing: in the car
I try: to stand out
I forget: names
I wonder: everything
I see: relationships end
I can: fly
I can’t: stop
I miss: a lot of people
I feel: unimportant
I believe: in myself
When I am sad I: listen to music
When I am happy I: am hyper
Freedom is: in america
Suicide: is an option
Drugs: are in the health book
Alcohol: is made from grapes
Sex: is kaylas pleasure..hah
Music: is a universal language
Life: ends eventually.
I am who I am because: nature & nurture
One of my dreams is: uhh i forget
I find it hard to: understand idiots
This survey was: stolen but borrowed?
The best way to know me is: to talk to me. or read my journal if your shy
I am: beautiful HAHA
Posted at 06:22 pm by me
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
(I ignore it and it ignores me too.)
i dont really know what im doing so w/e?...nothin special happened AT ALL today which kinda sucked b/c my lifes boring hah... but thats okay even tho mr bult tried to tell me im not doin anything for my project thing which i am. and even if i wasnt o well its really gay and i shouldnt be doin it anyways. whew bad attitude
but ne ways
-i really miss mikala...ever since she went to page i think im over reacting...but i dont get to hang out with her anymore as much as i used too.. and i hate tommy now.... he never deserved to go out with mikala in the first place b/c she is way to good for him. im being really mean about the whole tommy thing b/c what he did was wrong but.... whoa.
my love life sucks right now but thats okay b/c everyone else has boyfriends or thier lil lovers! but i dont..o well. i dont even think i like anyone right now anyways hahaha so im not gonna sweat it
kayla was supposed to call me and tell me a whole buncha stuff that she needed to tell me but she still hasnt -hmm i wonder what kinda drama is goin on with her..? o well shell call me later.. but i think im gonna go to the tannin bed in a lil bit and for all yall who hate tannin beds ur missing out. b/c they make me and kendall tan hah i dont even know what i just said.. oh gosh i crack myself up lmfao
this friday i think im goin to rocket town w/ ally so YOU should go. but ill probably end up not going... ahhh... we'll see.. but thats only if we dont get a ride home so you can take us home if you want. (hint hint)
oh yeah i named my thing "blah" or w/e b/c i dont know what else to name it haha and i say blah alot when im frustrated or just being gay haha
oh yeah this week is spirit week whew whooo actually im not in the "hms spiritive mood" probably b/c heritage sux huge balls..ugh..oh gees
<3Renee
everything happens for a reason but sometimes you are left wondering >>WHY<<
oh yeah i just noticed that everyones icon our "boys suck" and "men suck" lmfao
Posted at 08:47 pm by me
