Okay..... lastnight i couldnt make up my mind on what i wanted to do.. so i went home with porschea then we were gonna go to the chs vs. fhs game but then when decided we wanted to go to the movies.... so we were gettin ready and i started feeling ugh i dunno weird i guess and decided i didnt wanna go to the movies anymore i felt really really bad about tellin porschea that. but i dont know i knew i would regret goin to the movies anyways? but idk it was all really weird so i came home and kelsey got on the internet and asked me if i was goin to the movies and i was like i dunno so me and kelsey were gonna go to the movies but we just decided to stay at her house and watch movies so we watched "Road Trip" and ate gummy worms! and then at like 9 we went to star bucks. yummy..it was actually pretty fun until jae started bitchin at me and makin me feel worthless which isnt unusual b/c he likes to make me feel like crap a lot thank you jae... o well i cared at the moment but im used to fighting with him anymore its kinda a daily thing, i dont hate him though. i hope he doesnt hate me either
feb 10th i get my hair done im gettin really dark brown low lights...
valentines day is comin up :* (its suppose to be a smootchy face)
Read this
<3 madly
Renee
<3 madly
Renee
well isn't that grand?
lovely as you are, stupid as i am.
can't even keep a promise.
the roses you gave me died so long ago.
i believe in signs.
i should have known.
they weren't even my favorite color.
you don't even know my favorite color.
and nothing with you get me anywhere.
should have known
when KoNsTanTiNe was blaring in my car
and you yelled at the speakers-
slammed your hand against my radio to make it stop.
make the beauty stop.
should have known*
anyone worth loving...is moved by those words.
you're not worth loving-
and no, it doesn't hurt to say it.
funny the way things work, huh?
never seen this side of me before-
always thought i'd care.
but i never really did-
and you never really knew that.
i've saved all the words you've dangled from your cliffs,
and FOR CHRISTMAS
i thought maybe you could choke on them.
i like that idea.
i don't want them inside me anymore.
i'll scream that your lips are soft
and knead them with mine,
find a passion deep inside-
and it'll be for someone else,
but you won't be able to tell.
and you'll grab my face with those rough hands
along with every other part of me-
but i won't say a word.
i'll keep my eyes shut tight and wait for the moment.
i'll know when it comes.
and i'll spit all the words out into your mouth,
the one i'm kissing,
and you won't know what happened-
because you were so set on soft lips.
and those words-
they'll fill you from your toes
until they clog every part of you
and you can't breathe.
and maybe then, with desperate attempts to eat the air-
maybe when your reality is cloaked in a fragile appearence*
with all your regrets,*
i'll remember when i thought i loved you.
but then i'll remember
I NEVER DID
i won't ever have to endure those black rages of yours.
and i can sing as loud as i want to KoNsTaNTiNe
-
i'll find someone to love as much as those words.
and it won't matter that you're gone.
it never does.
and you should have known.
and nothing with you get me anywhere.
should have known
when KoNsTanTiNe was blaring in my car
and you yelled at the speakers-
slammed your hand against my radio to make it stop.
make the beauty stop.
should have known*
anyone worth loving...is moved by those words.
you're not worth loving-
and no, it doesn't hurt to say it.
funny the way things work, huh?
never seen this side of me before-
always thought i'd care.
but i never really did-
and you never really knew that.
i've saved all the words you've dangled from your cliffs,
and FOR CHRISTMAS
i thought maybe you could choke on them.
i like that idea.
i don't want them inside me anymore.
i'll scream that your lips are soft
and knead them with mine,
find a passion deep inside-
and it'll be for someone else,
but you won't be able to tell.
and you'll grab my face with those rough hands
along with every other part of me-
but i won't say a word.
i'll keep my eyes shut tight and wait for the moment.
i'll know when it comes.
and i'll spit all the words out into your mouth,
the one i'm kissing,
and you won't know what happened-
because you were so set on soft lips.
and those words-
they'll fill you from your toes
until they clog every part of you
and you can't breathe.
and maybe then, with desperate attempts to eat the air-
maybe when your reality is cloaked in a fragile appearence*
with all your regrets,*
i'll remember when i thought i loved you.
but then i'll remember
I NEVER DID
i won't ever have to endure those black rages of yours.
and i can sing as loud as i want to KoNsTaNTiNe
-
i'll find someone to love as much as those words.
and it won't matter that you're gone.
it never does.
and you should have known.
